31-01-24


well, another week or so has passed. the mother of the family i nanny for had been away for the last week and she returned last night. as soon as she arrived home, she took both kids to their extra-curricular activities and then started unloading the fridge. i thought i had done a pretty good job but seeing her get back into work (before even unpacking her bags or relaxing) made me feel like i fucked up. on the one hand, this is a stupid job and i shouldn't really care, but on the other hand i feel like i failed. i wish this didn't weigh over me or make me feel like i'm "in trouble", even though objectively i shouldn't care. or at least i wish i didn't care. this feeling is useful in some instances, but not in this specific circumstance. although their mum is super nice and keeps things in check, i also liked not having my "boss" around!!! i also notice one of the kids does baby voice (despite being an adolescent) a lot more when she is around. the frustration...sigh... anyway i guess we will be getting back to regularly scheduled programming now. i also worry about what other things are in the house that need to be done/i have overlooked.

in other news we have watched boy swallows universe recently. it was pretty enjoyable. and so nice to see brisbane imagery. i have now made an australian playlist on spotify. i remember my parents talking about going to cold chisel concerts in the 80s. in recent years my dad has attended many jimmy barnes gigs (including some private type concerts?).

on another note i have decided to stop getting frustrated with walking in london. i couldnt help but get up in arms about the lack of conformity when it comes to walking in this damn city. you drive on the left side of the road, people are good at lining up, yet they seem to be incapable of walking in an orderly fashion on the street. i realised i was expending my much needed frustration on fucking walking around. so i have decided to accept that i will move out of the way for people and not gripe about it.